Sep 26, 2014 5:44 PM
Where Are All The Good Men? In Hiding
How many times have we either heard or read some woman somewhere ask "Where have all the good men gone?"
The short answer: They're in hiding.
The long answer: They are either already married to a good woman or they're out there but they have no interest in the woman asking the question because that woman is not a good woman.
Does that sound sexist? Maybe. But there's also a kernel of truth.
There are a lot of men out there who are single, but too many of them have become exactly what many of the modern radical feminist-indoctrinated women have made them which in turn means they aren't what those same women are looking for. Too many of them are beta males, not manly and certainly not grown up. It isn't that they don't want to be 'grown ups', but rather that they've been pushed away from becoming good men. One explanation for that came from one of the comments to Ben Domenech's article linked above:
I believe that we (women) are to blame for the men we've created. Men learn by reward and punishment, and since we continuously punished all the chivalry, masculinity, and maturity out of them, we can't really blame them for losing interest in being a "good man."
Another view that might also explain why some women can't find a good man:
When a man can't find a woman, he asks, "What's wrong with me?" When a woman can't find a man, she asks, "What's wrong with men?"
Quite a difference in viewpoints. Of course it may also come down to the different definitions of a 'good man'. Some women have a reasonably good definition. But others don't. Their definitions come nowhere near reality and that's why they can't find them. They don't exist.
Over the past few years I have had more than a few opportunities to listen to young women in their 20's and very early 30's talking about their boyfriends or of the boyfriends/future husbands they expect to have. At first I thought I was listening to a few women who had totally unrealistic expectations about their relationships or possible future relationships. But as time went on and I heard many of the same things over and over, I came to realize that all these were women who were going to be very disappointed.
Some I've known personally. More than one I heard lament over their relationships or marriages because as far as they were concerned the men in their lives didn't measure up to their expectations. But either their expectations were overblown or they figured that somehow they could change their men to fit their needs. Not once did I hear any of them make any kind of statement signifying that maybe some of the fault was theirs. It was up to their significant others to change, not themselves. More than a couple of those women ended up alone after a breakup or divorce. Again, not once did they make any kind of statement that would indicate that it was anyone else's fault but their ex's. Two of those breakups were nasty, with the women filing for divorce after the found themselves yet another sucker who wouldn't be able to live up to their expectations.
More than a few commenters offered advice to young men, particularly successful young men: stay away from relationships with women, specifically those who seem to feel the need to remake them or belittle them or make unreasonable demands of them, and then dump them when they don't measure up to an impossible standard. Another issue causing some of these problems is that too many women have been sold on the idea that they can act just like men yet not suffer from the consequences of such actions. But there are consequences because in the long run men and women are different and no amount of indoctrination by radical feminists will change that. What it has led to is a major disconnect between men and women and that disconnect is harming everyone.
Social codes are a mix of both expectations and rewards, with the latter being granted for meeting the former. In the Good Old Days the rewards for being a mensch were pretty straightforward - respect from society, a wife and family that, come good or bad, would likely stay by you...and yes, the prospect of sex on a semi-regular basis. But nowadays, what can a man who adheres to this code expect to receive? Not respect or a family...quite the opposite. Any man who displays those old virtues will be seen as a sap, a sucker, just waiting for the day when cupcake gets bored with the marriage, cheat on him with the bad boy at the local bar and runs off with the kids, the house and half his worldly wealth.
Any attempt to restore respect and honor in the relationship between the sexes has to start with an honest acceptance of the differences between the genders, and that is something the femmies will never accept...unless it means they can proclaim the End of Men (thanks Hanna Rosin) or that Men Are No Longer Necessary (Maureen Dowd, bless her withered heart!) or every bilious exhalation by Marcotte, Valenti and their ilk. According to these ladies (and I use the term very loosely) Chivalry amounts to "soft sexism..." or some other nonsensical term that only an academic could have come up with. In other words, by holding a door open for a woman, a man is oppressing her.
This disconnect between men and women is no accident. The radical feminist movement has been working towards this for decades.. Now they are reaping the 'rewards' of their efforts, with women behaving like their lothario male counterparts, then wondering why they can't find a fulfilling relationship with a good man. Hint: Good men don't like women like that. They never have.
I'm dismayed at the cheapness in behavior, manners, and dress of younger - and some older - women, who, when they decry the lack of "good" men, fail to look in a mirror and figure out that if the ride is free, who wants to buy the horse?
Women (and men) better figure out the answer to this problem and do it damned quick. The first thing women should do is stop listening the lunatic radical feminists who keep trying to sell the idea that "women need men like a fish needs a bicycle." Without healthy relationships between men and women, both are doomed, as is our society.
While I am as guilty as some of vilifying the actions and beliefs of some members of the opposite sex, I see some hope. Many of the younger generation are not following the twisted ideology put forth over the past 5 decades. I'm finding many young women (late teens/early 20's) want nothing to do with the philosophies that put men and women at odds with each other. Then again, many of these young women don't live in cities and have no desire to attend the more progressive colleges and universities. Then again, many of these young women have grown up in rural New Hampshire, far away from the influences of their more cosmopolitan sisters. It may be these young women and those just like them that can reverse the damage and help return Western society to sanity.