An Open Letter to Fathers Who Are No Longer Here
Happy Father’s Day. You may not be here but that doesn’t mean I won’t celebrate what we had. Although every day we had together felt like Father’s Day, today, especially, I will dedicate time to celebrate the time we had together.
I will remember the inside jokes we shared together that no one will laugh at today. I’ll think of the notes you used to pack me inside my lunchbox in elementary school. I’ll remember the times you were so silly, you’d embarrass me even when we were alone.
Or when you first got glasses and asked me which frames you should buy. Of course, I’ll remember the time you got so frustrated helping me with my math homework you ripped a hole through the paper with the eraser.
I’ll think about how loved you made me feel during my first break up and when you brought chocolate ice cream when I got my wisdom teeth out.
Though today, most of all, I’ll think about how it was such an honor to be your child even with the unfair amount of time we had.
While the time we had will never feel like enough, you’ve inspired me to appreciate the other fathers around me.
Like my friends who are new fathers learning to change diapers and the co-workers coming to their daughter’s rescue when she’s broken her wrist. I stand with the single mothers who deserve extraordinary admiration every day. I see the second moms who deserve their own day. I recognize those who are struggling as fathers and respect them for trying. I pity those who didn’t have the courage to step up and experience the privilege is to be a father. I admire those who don’t want to be fathers. Then I look at those who will grow to become fathers and give them my love.
Father’s Day will always be a sad holiday for me, but that doesn’t mean that every day isn’t sad. Because of Father’s Day, I can celebrate the relationship we had that was nowhere near perfect but a treasure regardless.
It will be the same as any other day but I’ll probably eat your favorite, a dark chocolate graham cracker, in your honor and maybe watch some "Star Trek" episodes and definitely cry a little.
Happy Father’s Day.
I wish you were here.